At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
