FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
