I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
