Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize