Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

Replies (7) Good night (678) Bad night (1764)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!

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(318): omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!! http://tfl.nu/wtbk

Replies (14) Good night (1178) Bad night (1532)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

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(970): I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach. http://tfl.nu/dziv

Replies (44) Good night (4076) Bad night (1629)
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(631): View more from New York

I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore

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(631): I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore http://tfl.nu/upfn

Replies (9) Good night (1006) Bad night (2025)
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(641): View more from Iowa

FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

(1-641): View more from Iowa

STOP listening to that song

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(641): FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER (1-641): STOP listening to that song http://tfl.nu/q2fx

Replies (78) Good night (5263) Bad night (949)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?

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(503): I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number? http://tfl.nu/ltxf

Replies (55) Good night (3315) Bad night (1065)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.

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(720): Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands. http://tfl.nu/3psd

Replies (19) Good night (1387) Bad night (4328)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.

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(843): I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier. http://tfl.nu/n87w

Replies (5) Good night (3614) Bad night (916)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.

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(304): He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE. http://tfl.nu/ltby

Replies (27) Good night (1022) Bad night (3280)
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(914): View more from New York

If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.

(914): View more from New York

I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.

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(914): If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded. (914): I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit. http://tfl.nu/hj4l

Replies (14) Good night (1871) Bad night (825)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.

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(843): If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is. http://tfl.nu/wd98

Replies (2) Good night (1089) Bad night (511)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend

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(816): Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend http://tfl.nu/q3y8

Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (265)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.

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(985): No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did. http://tfl.nu/hp4k

Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (281)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?

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(615): I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend. (1-615): Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist? http://tfl.nu/x9n9

Replies (5) Good night (651) Bad night (398)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

But there's never enough margarita money.

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it

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(321): But there's never enough margarita money. (1-321): This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it http://tfl.nu/kuzp

Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (151)

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