You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.