Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
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I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.