Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?