Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!

  (805): View more from California

  God Bless America!

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  (954): Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day! (805): God Bless America! http://tfl.nu/gnt7
  Replies (134) Good night (6869) Bad night (1453)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup

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  (860): So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup http://tfl.nu/fyxp
  Replies (18) Good night (1181) Bad night (4007)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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  (704): i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes. http://tfl.nu/4acf
  Replies (54) Good night (3766) Bad night (2688)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas

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  (917): I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas http://tfl.nu/eh4r
  Replies (58) Good night (1164) Bad night (6158)
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  (845): View more from New York

  all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed

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  (845): all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed http://tfl.nu/tu27
  Replies (26) Good night (4791) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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  (845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol
  Replies (12) Good night (1243) Bad night (4073)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.

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  (413): she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her. http://tfl.nu/r8ko
  Replies (26) Good night (7271) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.

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  (916): I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was. http://tfl.nu/vzii
  Replies (9) Good night (1144) Bad night (2274)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.

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  (847): My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan. http://tfl.nu/ww9p
  Replies (10) Good night (2465) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.

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  (248): We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land. http://tfl.nu/euer
  Replies (6) Good night (1841) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  But you'll make an exception

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  probably not

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  (908): I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls (1-908): But you'll make an exception (908): probably not http://tfl.nu/9drh
  Replies (6) Good night (1649) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (627): View more from California

  some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.

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  (627): some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/adi8
  Replies (9) Good night (1980) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again

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  (415): so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again http://tfl.nu/s0gt
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.

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  (901): he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there. http://tfl.nu/fd7u
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics

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  (619): I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics http://tfl.nu/vxyz
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (232)

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