I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.