Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it

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  (334): I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it http://tfl.nu/u4cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4960) Bad night (1106)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I got her a Nickelback box set.

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  (317): I got her a Nickelback box set. http://tfl.nu/3u3u
  Replies (80) Good night (1776) Bad night (26249)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....

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  (630): He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now... (708): I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come.... http://tfl.nu/k2gw
  Replies (20) Good night (4978) Bad night (1165)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.

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  (513): I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food. http://tfl.nu/mdny
  Replies (4) Good night (2552) Bad night (773)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.

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  (917): The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof. http://tfl.nu/wunk
  Replies (3) Good night (2903) Bad night (798)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.

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  (901): He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless. http://tfl.nu/gg4g
  Replies (5) Good night (3798) Bad night (736)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack

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  (541): ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack http://tfl.nu/jnxf
  Replies (7) Good night (917) Bad night (1443)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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  (217): 4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket http://tfl.nu/mc6u
  Replies (11) Good night (1945) Bad night (635)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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  (404): Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions. http://tfl.nu/eox4
  Replies (6) Good night (1650) Bad night (527)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?

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  (403): All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/dlqr
  Replies (22) Good night (3722) Bad night (586)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!

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  (970): Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!! http://tfl.nu/2nfr
  Replies (1) Good night (966) Bad night (513)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.

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  (814): My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night. http://tfl.nu/obx4
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (466)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right

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  (859): I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right http://tfl.nu/hkaq
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?

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  (773): Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right? http://tfl.nu/8uh3
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.

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  (401): I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night. http://tfl.nu/fkta
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (215)

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