nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
organizing the empties. That sober.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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