like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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