this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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