Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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