my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just invented taco cereal.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
