Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
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