Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
