This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize