Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
