Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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