Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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