You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
third nipple confirmed
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
