This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
