If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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