I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
