so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
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on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
should my penis look like a turkey
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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