ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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