Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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