no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have already put on my inside pants.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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