dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
