Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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