do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
