dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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