you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
