Quick, to the slutcave!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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