i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
