i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
