Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
