Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
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We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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