I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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