it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
