he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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