my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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