Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize