What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
