Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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