pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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