You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
