NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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