apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
