what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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