and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
