When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
