we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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