I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
