You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
