Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
