I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
