no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
