True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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