your parents love me but you hate me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
