I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I wear drunk well.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
