My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
