i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
