you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
