You're my little dorito
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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